Slapped in the face

I hope I don’t regret writing this one, but I’m not a happy chappy these last couple of days and I wanted to get some stuff out of my system. I can always hit delete later I guess.

It’s work basically. They’re making me and someone else swap jobs. I think the other person is more or less happy about it. I, on the otherhand, am very angry and upset and do not want to move. They added an element to my job last year which I reluctantly accepted although I stated at the time I didn’t think I was suited for it, but after having raised my concerns again recently their solution is not for my job to go back to how it was, but to swap me with someone else. I’m probably very niave about these sorts of things, but I absolutely didn’t see it coming.

I can’t go into it in detail here, but it’s not healthy to bottle it up either and (being an orphaned only child currently without a significant other) I don’t really have a tremendous amount of people I can unbottle myself to in person. I don’t feel like going and snivelling in front of friends or my aunt and uncle.

The only decent thing work has  done is let me go home yesterday and today rather than sit at my desk and trying not to look upset while people wonder what the hell is going on. (It’s not common knowledge yet and I’m not allowed to tell anyone.) I’d rather be at home and upset in private while they’re all wondering what the hell is going on.

I keep telling myself “worse things happen at sea” and “at least you’re still employed” etc and I suppose I might eventually enjoy the change of role, but I want to do my current job. I’ve built up a lot of knowledge and skills over the last few years or so and it feels like they don’t care. There was the usual management talk of new challenges and not wanting key dependencies etc.

So…in a nutshell I’m just not happy right now. In fact I’d describe the current mood as venemously angry.

I seem to have started a bit of a cold yesterday too so I have been alternating between sobs and sneezes. LOL. (That’s a wry LOL btw.)


3 Responses to “Slapped in the face”

  1. 1 hedgewizard August 15, 2007 at 9:12 am

    Just a thought – does this still fit your original job description? If not, it may constitute a change to your contract and you should speak to the CAB.

  2. 2 nezza August 15, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    Mr Wizard, sadly they’ve already thought of that. Both of us involved have the same job title with the same job profile, but we both do completely different functions within that job title/profile. So they have got me well and truly by the short and curlies I’m afraid.

    I have never, ever been this angry. I never knew I could be this angry. They tell me they don’t want me to feel like I’m being forced… Ha bloody ha.

  3. 3 jackiesgarden August 20, 2007 at 3:02 pm

    Nezza – I feel for you, I really do. I know what that is like, the hurt and the anger – and the helplessness, that you are at someone else’s whim and have no control over the situation. Sometimes, good as life is, it sucks. And there are some things you cannot change.

    I can tell you (from my vantage point of having lived 58 years) that it WILL work out. Eventually. And things will be the way they are meant to be. You will either enjoy and thrive in the new job – or you will be miserable and end up going somewhere else. And that would be because it was where you were meant to be.

    In the meanwhile, I am glad, and I applaud you for ‘venting’. Whether it’s here, in person, by email, talking to a stranger about it – keep talking about it and get it out. These feelings are normal and healthy – what isn’t, is keeping these feelings inside. That’ll get you every time.

    I wish I could help – that there was something I could do. I’ll be thinking about you.

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